Mother’s Day used to bring feelings of angst that would quickly morph into self-loathing. I’d daydream about how it would feel to be celebrated by a partner or honored by my son for what is often a selfless job. It also triggered grief around my mother’s wound and all the ways my mom loved me but couldn’t show up for me.
Over the past five years, healing has taught me that while it would be nice to be celebrated by others, I am responsible for celebrating myself. Gifts and rest have been ways I’ve indulged myself in past years, but this Mother’s Day I decided to do something a little different. An opportunity popped up for me to travel to St. Lucia, and who says no to one of the most picturesque islands and a leading honeymoon destination? Initially, I asked myself what sort of mom leaves her son with a babysitter on Mother’s Day to frolic on an island? I concluded that it’s a mother who loves herself deeply and understands that being a good mom and self-care aren’t mutually exclusive.
Leaving my son for Mother’s Day was a difficult decision to make—I’m a single mom with limited community. That means my son and I are attached by the hip, the elbows, and all the other joints. It didn’t help that he was more excited than I was about Mother’s Day and couldn’t stop talking about making me breakfast in bed (shout out to the Bluey podcast for teaching my baby how to be a young king). Choosing to travel instead of spending the day with my son felt selfish. But motherhood has taught me that being selfish often enough makes me a better parent. So I went.
Here is what I did during my four days away and what I learned along the way.
Irie Valley ATV Tour Around Local Communities
Before I became a mother, I was quite the adventure and adrenaline junkie. I still am–it’s just a little more contained because I have more to lose now as somebody’s momma. I got the chance to take an ATV ride around Irie Valley, also known as Mabouya Valley, located on the eastern part of the island. We went on this excursion with a company called Eastern Exotic ATV Tours. They currently offer two types of tours, but I did the “Irie Valley Experience,” a new community tourism-supported activity that includes riding through banana plantations and a rastafarian community.
The tour guides did an excellent job debriefing us on how to use the ATVs safely and sharing information on the local communities. I learned that St. Lucia used to be a leading exporter of bananas in the 1970s and contributed to a significant amount of employment at the time. The tour lasted around two hours and was immersive enough to get a feel of St. Lucian culture and how they live in rural areas.
My life flashed before my eyes a few times as we drove up the mountains on hilly roads with no guardrails. The risk was worth it; I got to take in breathtaking landscapes and remember the gift of being alive. At some point, I stopped taking footage because I realized pictures and videos wouldn’t accurately capture the beauty of that town.
The Rastafarian community was a highlight of the tour. We received bread made from fresh ingredients grown on their land. They also make their alcohol with home-grown ingredients, which I thought was pretty impressive.
On the way down the mountain, we saw how they make cassava bread, a local delicacy in the Lucian community. As this experience ended, I was reminded how important it is to immerse yourself in other cultures and see how people outside of your daily norm live. Not only do those experiences help make you a more expansive person, but they can also make you a well-rounded parent. I got excited thinking about experiencing similar adventures with my son one day.
Catamaran Sail To Soufriere For a Mud Bath
I usually avoid boats like the plague because motion sickness is disrespectful, but Dramamine has given me the courage to ride boats again. The last time I raw-dogged a boat ride was in Barbados; I puked over the side of the ship and was sick the entire journey. Thankfully, during French rule, I could enjoy a motion-sickness-free Catamaran Sail to Soufrière, the former capital of St. Lucia. A glimmer from the sail was getting an up-close and personal view of the Gros Pitons–volcanic spires that are the island’s iconic landmarks.
Once we arrived in Soufrière, we headed to Sulphur Springs for a mud bath. The Sulphur Springs are located at the only drive-in volcano in the world, which last erupted in the 1700s. Apparently, the mud baths detoxify your body and can help heal sunburns, eczema, arthritis, sore joints, and more.
We were unpleasantly surprised by the foul smell of the sulphur–take the smell of rotten eggs and multiply that by ten. Luckily, the experience trumped inhaling the intense stench, which eventually subsided. I can attest that after giving myself that mud bath, my skin was soft and supple.
Wear a dark bathing suit if you ever go, as the mud can be difficult to get out. You can visit a waterfall after your mud bath if you want a refreshing dip. Unfortunately, the rum punch from the catamaran ride knocked me into a nap, so I never made it.
Before returning to our resort, we had lunch at Stonefield Villa Resort, one of the most stunning places I’ve ever been. We were so close to the mountains that it felt like I could touch them, and the flower landscapes were full of bright pinks and oranges. I spent most of the lunch talking about my son, the challenges of motherhood, and the intangible joys.
All-Inclusive Resort
I used to equate all-inclusive resorts with raging kids and budget experiences, but I was grossly mistaken. I stayed at the Bodyholiday Resort, located on a secluded beach in St. Lucia, and it was none of the above. The resort was luxurious, and the staff made us feel at home with their authentic St. Lucian hospitality. Although tourism is prominent in St. Lucia, it doesn’t take away from the island’s soul, which makes it a special destination.
Being at an all-inclusive resort helped ease my mental load, which often becomes overwhelming. I’m so used to mothering daily that sometimes I forget what it feels like to be catered to. I had fewer decisions to make outside of what I would wear that day and what food item I would try on the menu. There were six restaurants on the resort to choose from, which included TAO and Cariblue Windows. Cariblue, the Wellness Cafe, and the Pavilion Grill. I appreciated the pumpkin soup, a St. Lucian staple, so if you’re in town, try it. Overall, the food was fresh, and I haven’t stopped daydreaming about the juiciness of the soursop and mango.
I started my actual Mother’s Day by getting a massage. Bodyholiday offers daily spa treatments, which are included in your stay. I then journaled on the beach, reflecting on my motherhood journey so far and how thankful I am for it. The resort had a range of activities to engage in, including land and water sports like water sailing, kayaking, body yoga, archery, and many others that I didn’t participate in because I was busy being an island princess.
I enjoyed not doing mothering duties on Mother’s Day and caring for myself in ways I don’t always get to. Filling my cup with adventure, exploration, pampering, and rest was everything. I may not turn this into a Mother’s Day ritual, but it’s certainly something I’ll do again in the near future because I deserve to be a little selfish on a day that’s all about me.