For many of us, our mothers, the matriarchs we grew up around, were our first foray into beauty. Observing them through the bathroom mirror, quietly watching them apply lipstick, hot iron their hair, organize their favorite fragrances, or moisturize before bed left impressions that we carry on into adulthood, no matter how subtle.
To a lot of women, beauty is as much a practice in outer enhancement as it is a personal and internal ritual of self-preservation and love. Generations pass, cultures overlap, and trends evolve, but the sanctity of beauty rituals for and by ourselves remain. The traditions preserved and passed down through the beauty of Black motherhood, whether consciously or otherwise, forge relationships and stories that extend far beyond our twenty minute morning routines.
Many of the women detail how important their beauty routines are for grounding, and sharing space with themselves. As daughters, Autumn Wilson, Brianna Heath, and Donetta Monk speak to the ways their matriarchs have touched their lives and reminisce on their first beauty inspirations. For mothers Shevanne Robinson, Brandi Harrell, and Thedora Jodrey, they reflect on their mothers’ beauty practices, and now their own, as they continue to evolve through their own motherhood journeys. With the world of responsibility that is motherhood, that morning or evening routine is the key to keeping their inner world intact.
In conversation with six different women, who have either shaped or been shaped by matriarchal beauty traditions, ESSENCE looks to preserve the beauty rituals that sustain us.
Brianna Heath, Brand Strategist & Beauty Writer
“For me, beauty is knowing myself and taking care of myself. I think the superficial aspects of beauty are really fun, like doing your makeup, getting your hair done, nails, all of that stuff. But something that both my aunt and my mother taught me was the importance of internal beauty,” shares beauty brand strategist and beauty writer Brianna Heath, whose mother, aunt, and grandmother influenced her to be the beauty professional she is today.
“My mom would always remind me, ‘you’re beautiful inside as well’. And a lot of that is taking care of myself, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and that allows me to enjoy the other elements of beauty that much more,” she shares. It also shines through your treatment of others, “I think one of the most generous things that you can give someone is making them feel seen and beautiful.”
Heath expresses gratitude for her experience of learning beauty from so many different women: “My mom [emphasized] mental health and emotional well being; she helped me appreciate the [beauty in] spending time with myself and having moments of stillness. She also recounts her mom always being an “early riser,” growing up, waking up at four or five am to begin her makeup routine and ease into the day, “she likes slow mornings and being in the quiet part of the world before everybody else wakes up.” She also supplemented her alone time with treatments such as pedicures and massages, as she appreciated the “sensory aspect” to beauty.
Heath reminisces on her mom’s “smell good” practice, where she taught her and her sister to adorn themselves with fragrance, everywhere they go. In doing so, they create beauty experiences for themselves to indulge in, “even if nobody else gets to see it.”
Meanwhile, “my aunt loves glam,” she shares of the maternal figure who would make her B.A.M. These “beauty and more” boxes that consisted of everything from face masks and lip gloss, to journals and hair accessories. “She’s the one who got me into makeup and was never afraid to be seen. I was quite shy growing up, so seeing her try different makeup looks and not being afraid of color is something that I slowly learned to emulate. And my grandmother, I’ve never seen her ashy a day in my life. Her skin is always luminescent.”
Brandi Harrell, Beauty Content Creator, and Thedora Jodrey, Hair Professional
“To me, beauty starts on the inside,” Jodrey begins. “If you’re beautiful on the inside that enhances your beauty on the outside and I think that draws people in. To me, that’s long lasting,” she imparts.
Her daughter, Brandi, concurs. “External beauty is in the eye of the beholder, however, what’s inside, the way your heart speaks to and impacts others, that is lasting beauty.” Both agree that their days have to start with meditative prayer. Speaking love and life over themselves and centering faith is the key to feeling beautiful and empowered.
Harrell’s beauty philosophy is shaped quite significantly by the standard her mother Thedora sets. “My mother, everywhere she goes, she’s gonna light up a room. It’s so important that you watch what you do around your children or young people around you, because they’re going to pick up everything you do.”
While she loves diving into skincare and makeup, “most of my beauty regimens have been centered around my hair, and now my two daughters, Riley and Bailey, also have so much hair.” She remembers how as a child with thick hair, her mother was the only one who could really do it well. Now, as a mother to two daughters, one of them having autism and sensory sensitivities, she finds herself in a similar position, having that innate knowledge of what works for her children.
Jodrey’s beauty approach is “from top to bottom, girl. Start from the rooter to the tooter!” she jokes. “It’s about putting your best foot forward. Perfection is of the world, excellence is of the spirit.” For beauty tips, Jodrey offers, “Trader Joe’s has the best sunscreen from head to toe. That’s my go to. I also love to use jojoba oil and Korres olive oil.” To this, Harrell adds, “if I have an acne breakout or something and have scarring or discoloration, my mother also swears by Vitamin E.”
Shevanne Robinson, Beauty Brand Founder & Fitness Trainer
The Toronto-raised beauty brand founder and fitness trainer Shevanne Robinson is all about confidence and a holistic approach to beauty. This outlook is partly inspired by her father’s Rasta influence and mother’s natural approach to beauty treatments. What she didn’t always appreciate doing growing up, has become invaluable in her practice now.
As far as beauty is concerned, she is typically a full face or nothing at all type of girl, and most days sticks to the minimal: “brows, lip gloss,” and an involved skincare routine that includes gua sha, serums, moisturizers, and scalp care from her brand Sunday II Sunday. “I’m religious. I have a five step process at night and a 12-step process in the morning.”
She also discusses how important moving her body is to her beauty ritual, speaking to how feeling strong and centered helps her exude more beauty and confidence. “I work out every single day. I do one thing for myself everyday; it doesn’t matter whether it’s getting my nails done, taking a bath, or buying myself something. I do one thing for myself, by myself, every single day, and more often than not, it’s working out.”
Taking a page from her mother’s book, she also looks to incorporate standing beauty appointments, lathering her children with moisturizer from head to toe, and giving them the freedom of choice with their hair and clothing to encourage autonomous beauty exploration.
Being a working mother of two, “you have to be intentional about what’s realistic. I get up far before my family,” she says. “I usually start work at six, so I’m up at five o’clock. I will do my whole face routine, get myself together, work for a few hours, and then get my girls ready. Getting up before everybody is [crucial] to ensure that your routine is your routine.”
Autumn Wilson, Art Director and Illustrator
“I think my mom is the most beautiful woman ever. I’ve always admired her,” Autumn Wilson shares. “I remember when I was little, I [would think] ‘I can’t wait to grow up and be her.’”
From standing by her staple products by French brand Yon-Ka, to the time she maintained her skincare routine by any means necessary on a grade school camping trip, Wilson’s mother taught her that caring for yourself is also honoring yourself.
Beauty touches such as MAC blush, silk pillowcases, and vintage fragrances have stuck with Wilson, but above all, the ‘why’ behind these practices stand out. Growing up in spaces where a young Black girl was not the standard of beauty, Wilson often felt out of place when practicing her beauty rituals, such as wrapping your hair at night, in mixed company. At the same time, her mother was such a clear and confident standard of beauty in her eyes, that she learned to embrace her own unique beauty, namely her body and hair types.
Donetta Monk, Communications PR and Beauty Content Creator
When thinking of beauty inspirations in her life, Donetta Monk instantly goes to her diva of a grandmother. She learned from her how beauty is a “360 ritual,” that incorporates not only the outside aesthetic but the full body, holistically. While she could always count on her grandmother to have her hair, nails, and makeup perfectly done, she also saw the emphasized importance of healthy nutrition, and refraining from alcohol or smoking.
Monk credits her grandmother for tried and true hacks that have stood the test of time, “She taught me to fade scars with fresh aloe vera and was dunking her face in cold water long before it was trending.”